You plan all the details of your wedding day down to the table scapes and chair covers, but have you taken the time to plan your marriage?
These days, it is easy for couples to get swept up in creating the wedding of their dreams, but when it comes to designing their marriage, it becomes an afterthought. We go to school to learn how to become doctors, chefs, business owners, and accountants, but we never learn the basics of how to be in relationship with the one person we tend to count on the most in life.
At the end of the day, your wedding is just a day long (or maybe several days in some traditions). But your marriage is for a lifetime. So start the trajectory out on a strong foundation. Once the afterglow of the wedding has dimmed and you find yourself face to face with your partner in all their glory and flaws, you want to have some skills to fall back on. Utilize the resources and knowledge of a counselor to help you capitalize on the strengths and navigate growth areas of your relationship for your wedding day and every day.
You aren’t trying to do all and be all on your wedding day. You are just trying to be the bride or groom and allow others to fulfill their roles, so that you and your partner can be the shining stars. The caterer is a master in their craft, so you won’t have to worry about making and serving a meal that day. The photographer can be trusted to take some great pictures so you won’t have to try and capture every golden moment yourself. You don’t need to hand stitch your dress, you can leave that up to the expert. In the same way, don’t hesitate to consult an expert on your relationship. It’s a well know fact among therapists that couples show up to couples therapy seven years too late. Choose to be proactive in your own relationship by getting to know a therapist and taking some time to learn new and improved ways of navigating your most important relationship in premarital counseling.
Another reason to invest in your relationship is because weddings tend to bring others’ opinions out of the woodwork. It is easy to fall back into your childhood family roles as you try to navigate the fine balance of pleasing others and honoring your own wishes for the big day. By talking about these dynamics in counseling, you can better understand yourself and your family and your partner and their family. This can help you deepen your relationships with your immediate support system and navigate sticky situations with new problem solving skills.
So in your wedding planning, don’t neglect your relationship. Your wedding day is a memorable, important moment, but your relationship is what endures long after the leftover cake is whisked away and the last handful of rice drops to the ground.
If you are ready to take your relationship deeper in order to experience not only a great wedding day but a great ever after, contact Liminal Space Counseling today to learn more about Premarital Counseling in the Twin Cities or schedule online.