Why Your Relationship Needs A Summer Bucket List


Here in the Twin Cities, summer is often like one big holiday.  People emerge from the woodwork after being shut in all winter to enjoy the many lakes and parks around and take advantages of the longer days with their loved ones. However, despite the celebration that summer is, it can be easy to find that fall comes all too soon and you didn’t get to all the warm weather things you wanted to.  So, instead, this summer come up with a bucket list of fun things you want to experience with your partner. Here are three motivating reasons why you should make this happen:

  1. A bucket list helps you to be intentional and mindful. How many times do you turn to your significant other and ask. "What should we do tonight?" and then you spend the next half hour trying to come up with something, only to settle on staying in and watching shows again. A bucket list incorporates mindfulness and intentionality.  The activity of creating a bucket list itself can bring you and your partner closer together.  You get to hear what your partner thinks would be fun for you do together.  You may find yourself being surprised at what s/he comes up with.  You get to voice what you want to do and have the opportunity to be mindful of planning out new experiences for you to have together.  In this day and age, it is so easy for us to get so busy that we lose track of finding time to do things we really want to do. With a bucket list, when you find you have a free moment together, you can go to right to it and create fun, new memories together.

  2. You can practice compromising with your partner on your bucket list. Perhaps when creating a bucket list, you may realize that you are comparatively landing on very different places of how you want to spend your summer.  Instead of bashing your loved one’s ideas or getting defensive, use this as an opportunity to practice compromising and to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. Being able to be flexible or meet in the middle in a relationship is very important, as many relationship issues require this. You will go camping if she will try rollerblading.  She agrees to the outdoor jazz concert if her partner is willing to try the new sushi restaurant.  You may be surprised at how much you enjoy the activity you thought you didn’t want to do… or it may confirm your original feeling, but maybe you find enjoyment in seeing how happy it makes your significant other.  

  3. A bucket list can help you cultivate play in your relationship.  Play has become a lost art in our culture, which glorifies busyness and hard work.  Forgot how to play?  Include some of the following on your bucket list: Move your body in new ways.  Go to an animal shelter and play with the puppies.  Try out the water park slides. Take your nieces and nephews out for ice cream and a trip to the park.  Find things to laugh about together. Laughter plays an important role in relationships, don’t take yourself so seriously all the time.  Humor can be an important repair tool when you are having a disagreement as well. By creating a bucket list that includes activities that will incorporate play and laughter together, you will create new experiences and inside jokes together.  You can reference these memories again and again to keep the laughter alive and well between you and your loved one.

So get started with your partner on your summer bucket list today.  You won’t regret taking the time to intentionally and mindfully create a list that includes things you both enjoy and cultivates play and laughter in your relationship.  Happy planning!

Struggling in your relationship?  Get help in the Twin Cities today by reaching out for couples counseling.  Call 651.605.6022, email analisa@liminalspacecounseling.com or fill out this form.